Morgan Undeported!

That is correct, I am being undeported. I will be arriving in the motherland on June 4th after a quick 10 day layover in Italy. I recommend dollar beers at Rock bottom in Ballston for all that read this blog on wednesday, June 6th.

Greatest Potato Chips Ever.

Tasted exactly like thanksgiving. Or maybe just the powder from instant chicken noodel soup. At any rate, they're worth the trip to France.

Explanation on why I haven't been blogging

There exists this other hotel called the Marriott. Friends of mine are staying there. The Marriott has free breakfast, dinner, and vodka. End Explanation.

I hooked arms with a German man.

It was all part of spring fest (same as oktoberfest). We were in a large tent, drinking beer by the liter, when the Germans at our table stood up on the bench and started dancing. Well, I'm not one to be shown up by some German with fancy dance moves, so I stood on the bench too. Soon it turned into everyone hooking arms and kicking. Good times were had by all.

Pictures will be added if I can get my hands on them.

London

I took a trip to London this past weekend with my friend Chi. A few of the noteworthy items:

1) I was off the plane for 3 minutes when I found the root of the English dental hygiene problem. Apparently, they have been trying to chew their toothbrush.

2) It turns out, driving on the left side of the road doesn't only matter if you're driving, it also matters if you're trying to cross. Cars were coming from all kinds of directions I didn't expect. Luckily, Chi was there to save my life 18 times.



Unfortunately, I look neither right nor down. I look left, where the cars are supposed to be coming from.

3) Exchange rates are very important. 2.50 is expensive for water, but when that's in pounds, so you're actually paying over $5 for water, it's ridiculous. Everything was priced as you'd expect it except 1 pound is 2.08 dollars. My wallet still hurts.

4) It may surprise some that in a land that names its food "bubbles and squeaks" and "bangers and mash", it is hard to find something delicious. The best two meals we had were both in the airport.

5) Despite my request, the Queen will not be commenting on this blog.

I can't clap to a beat.

We all know I am not musically inclined, but now, thanks to the internet, we can quantify how bad I really am.

I took the 3 tests here: http://tonometric.com/

First came the tone deaf test. 36 questions. I had 2 options, so with the speakers off, I should get 18 correct. I had the speakers on. I got 20 correct. 55.6%. Some may say I got lucky on 2 questions, and I'd have to agree. I guessed on every single one.

Next up, rhythm test. I felt like I was doing a little better on this one, then came the score. 48%. Again, two options, and I failed at getting the score I should've gotten with the speakers off. I believe the exact phrase used by the site was "possible rhythm or memory deficit". Memory? Come on, now the site is just taking shots at me while I'm down.

Finally came the adaptive pitch test. This test showed at 500 Hz, I could reliably differentiate two tones 4.2 Hz apart. Which is...... Above average! It's a small victory, but I'll take it.

So do these results mean I'm putting the dance shoes away for good? Well, I don't own dance shoes, but I still plan to go out there and embarrass anyone willing to dance with me. And don't give me a hard time about it, I apparently don't hear what most of you are hearing...

Cooking goes bad.

So, the plan was to eat this:



Drink this:



While sitting out here in 70 degree weather:



Instead, right when I put the food in the electric skillet, it shorts out. It lasted two months. Not the worst $20 I ever spent, but close...

Without a cooking device, I was forced to walk all the way across the street to consume fish and chips and drink guiness. Wow, my life is pretty rough...

I had to pay European prices for Gas the other day.

$6/gallon. Ouch.

The German highways only have gas stations every 50 km and only certain gas companies let me take advantage of my tax exempt status. After about 150 km, I had no choice. At $6/gallon, I decided to buy 4 gallons...

In other news, I think I've worked my last weekend, so I should have some European extravaganzas ahead to blog about...

I need to:

1) Remember to buy a can opener. Or…
2) Remember to not buy cans.

While I’ve gotten pretty good at opening a can with a razor blade, I wouldn’t exactly call it easy…

That is all for now...

Museums. Well, Museum at least.

I was working last weekend, so I took Tuesday off and went to the Mercedes Museum. Check out pictures of horse, bus, and cars.

Went to the Ritter Sport chocolate factory on Friday. We learned when we got there that the factory had a museum, not of chocolate, but of modern art... Art Museum out in suburbia didn't exactly seem like a must see, but at least they had a chocolate store.

Goodbye Fiat.

Today I turned in my Fiat for an Audi 3 diesel with a navigation system. Significant upgrade, significantly cheaper. Of course, I could really be saving some money if the rental place offered the Mazda 6 live-in edition (engineered by K. Goza).

More on Germany

1. Parking lots in Germany will have a sign that says "frei" (free). After parking several times and having to pay, I've realized they mean free as in available, not free as in free... I guess there's more to learning a foreign language then memorizing words.

2. Afraid of declining birth rates, the German government will now give its citizens up to $33,470 to have a baby. Maybe I should go find me Helga while I'm here....

3. March has significantly less Madness in Europe. It's a good thing I didn't come here during football season.

Mannekin Pis

I've been working hard on trying to find out the story behind this kid, his pee, and why it attracts hundreds of people at a time away from things such as beer, chocolate, and seafood. It turns out, it is not known where he comes from. There are several stories surrounding him, mostly involving the peeing producing some sort of military victory... Brussels, you would've been better off just claiming you made it up (see: Hokie).

Pictures

Brussels

Went up to Brussels this weekend where a coworker from DC, Mel, just starting to work with NATO. The first site to be seen would be Brussels' most famous - Manneken Pis. More on it later, but it's a small statue of a kid peeing. Well, at least Brussels has beer, waffles, chocolate, and seafood to fall back on...

When walking past a bunch of seafood places, I made a comment about snails being on a lot of the menus. Mel said, with no previous bacon-wrapped-bacon conversations influencing her, "they're actually pretty good wrapped in bacon". Consider the bacon makes everything better point proven.

Next up, a bar that's in the Guinness book for most types of beer. They had 2004. I drank 2. One tasted kind of like Sam Addams, one tasted a lot like pennies. mmm... copper...

Sunday morning we went over to a flea market. I was thinking it was going to be a tourists' flea market with lots of souvenirs, but it was definitely more geared towards locals. Nothing purchased, but I came across an 8-track car stereo. Unfortunately, it wasn’t compatible with the Fiat...

Brussels summary: Beer – good. Mussels – excellent. Waffles and chocolate – fair. Statue of kid peeing – weird enough to warrant its on blog post.

The weekend that went not good.

The plan: Weekend in Paris.

Actual events:

Left Saturday morning with my coworker Adrienne for Paris. Got to Cologne where we planned to transfer trains. The train from Cologne to Paris was reservation only and we got into Cologne too late to make the reservation. We now had the decision on whether to wait 2 hours for the next train to Paris or jump on another train somewhere else. After looking at the schedule, we decided on Amsterdam.

Before catching the Amsterdam train, I came across the worst pizza ever. Salami, mushrooms, and tuna fish. This is just more proof that if it isn't pork, the Germans don't know how to make it edible...

We got to Amsterdam early afternoon, did some sight seeing, ate excellent Mexican food (run by supposedly the only Mexicans in town), then caught a comedy show (blogged earlier). After the show, it was time to grab our stuff from a locker in the train station and find a hotel.

We got to the train station to find a large metal door in between us and the lockers.... About three feet above eye level, there's a sign showing the hours the locker room is accessible. Stupid important signs not being in plain view...

No stuff, but at least we'll have a bed to sleep in. We go across the street to a hotel. They just rented out their last room to the people that walked in ahead of us. We try the next hotel. No rooms. About 5 hotels later, we catch a bus to a different part of town. After about 10 more hotels giving us the answer: "There are no rooms available anywhere in town", we start to see the writing on the wall, this is going to be an all-nighter...

We start at an Irish pub. I'm talking to the bartender, who can't believe there are no rooms available. It's the middle of the off season and the city wasn't busy. He says he may be able to the help us though. He knows a guy. Umm… Is this help that I want? He goes off to make a phone call. He comes back. "Sorry, I can't help. My buddy works at a hotel, but he's on his couch sleeping". Well, at least I know he was actually trying to help.

Irish Pub closes up at 3am. Next up, Burger King. A Norwegian girl behind us in line decided to explain to me that drunken Dutch people are not nearly rowdy enough and that they should be louder like Norwegians. I told her she was too loud. She didn’t take me seriously and only got louder...

Burger King closed at 4. Walked 40 minutes back to the train station where we hung out until the 6am train that went back.

Not being able to sleep Saturday night caused me to miss out on two very important things on Sunday: Falafel for lunch and Heineken brewery tour. Very unfortunate.

Went to sleep around 3pm and slept straight till the next morning. Good times.

I can confirm 4 in the morning does actually exist.

I was always pretty sure 4am existed just as a late night hour reserved for 3rd dinner. It turns out, it is also considered a morning hour. I'm finding this out the hard way for the next two weeks.

When you east coasters are watching the last minutes of Lost tomorrow, my alarm will be going off. That's unfortunate...

Comedy Club

I went to a comedy show called "Me, MySpace, and iPod". They spent 2 hours mocking people with blogs. But... I thought this blog was finally making me cool...

On a non-emotionally damaging note, the 22 euro ticket included a pitcher of heineken for each person. Not bad.

German Language Update

Reading: Several hundred words.
Speaking: Around a hundred words.
Listening: 10ish words

Obviously, I never needed to develop listening skills hanging around the people that read this blog...

Austria with Holzhueter

So here was the plan: Drive from Stuttgart, to Neuschwanstien (Disney castle), to Innsbruck (Austria), to Salzburg (Austria), back to Stuttgatt. 10 hours of driving, not counting lost time.

The directions led us down a road with no name for about 20 minutes. Doubt was starting to set in right when we saw a sign in downtown Fussen for the town the castle is in. 4.2 km to the right. The street to the right looked abnormally populated with people, but I didn’t argue with the sign... Should’ve thought that through more, definitely a pedestrian only street... One U-turn and zero people hit later and we were back on our way…

Eventually, we got to Neuschwanstien. The next tour wasn’t for an hour and half though. If we wait, we'd never make it down to Innsbruck before everything closes. So, we took a couple pictures, ate and headed back out without actually going up to the castle.

In Innsbruck, we came across a street performance. The kids (some around 10 years old) had whips, so obviously we had to stop. Not only whips, they also carried flasks and would slap someone in the crowd on the back (with hand, not whip) and give them a swig. Unfortunately, Julie and I were a few rows back and didn't get the opportunity to accept alcohol from a 10 year old.

Next, we walked by a store giving free schnapps tasting. Amazingly, we got out after only buying 4 bottles...

That night we went to a piano bar that lacked a piano player. The Indian bartender, who spoke German as a third language, mocked my pronunciation... Little did he know, my English is only slightly better...

Salzburg was fairly uneventful. Ate the Austrian classics – greek salad and pizza. Checked out the Fortress Hohensalzburg – they've added ceramic tile and an audio tour since it was built in 1077.

No Kangaroos were seen during our trip...

The buses and fire trucks in germany

...are made by Mercedes. I'm impressed. I'll try to update this with a picture of a firetruck with a big Mercedes emblem on it.

Skiing in Oberstdorf

So, I had this working against me:

1) Directions that only get me to within 20 miles of Oberstdorf.
2) No idea where to go to ski once in Oberstdorf.
3) The slopes may not even be open because it's pretty warm out.
4) I still can't speak German.
5) I'm depending on the fiat to take me 300 miles round trip.

I went anyways because I figured, what's the worst that can happen? Make a wrong turn, get lost, and run out of gas somewhere in Lithuania with no way to call anyone? That would make for a good blog...

After driving for about 15 minutes past where my directions ended, I finally see a road sign with a skier on it. I pull in, take a closer look. Blast. He's a Nordic walker.... That's not right at all.



Another 15 minutes and finally the road ends at Oberstdorf. Between roaming around the town on foot to find skiing, figuring out how to rent skis and how to buy a lift ticket, an hour and a half go by. Being able to read would've helped a lot.

Most of the slopes were closed, but a smaller section of the mountain was open. Going up the lift, my ears pop. This isn't like east coast skiing. The one slope that goes all the way down the mountain doesn't look too difficult, except it is somewhat narrow with a 1000 foot drop off one side. I think I'll stick with the one blue slope where the mountain goes up on either side. After a couple hours I have my first fall. Not good. The ski got caught in the snow and twisted my knee. Time for a beer and food. After food, I went down the slope one more time just to prove I can play hurt on Super bowl Sunday. Hobbled back to the car and went home.

Went to a concert tonight.

Saw a band called "Europe". They were popular in the US in the late 80s. Their hair is slightly less poofy these days. The best part was, and Riendeau will appreciate this, the lead singer had no need for a microphone. He had a megaphone. Very awesome.

In other European news, France banned smoking in public places today. Bars and restaurants next year. Pretty surprising considering how big of smokers they are here. Go France.

Now time for sleep. I have to work on Saturday.

Everything in this country is just slightly off.

I think it's almost done just to spite me....

1) Dryers do not have exhausts like in the US, the moisture collects in some tray. I didn't know this. The tray was full. I pulled my clothes out after an hour soaking wet and about 200 degrees. Almost like I was pulling them out of boiling water. I basically was...

2) Germans are pretty good at cars and beer, but they're less than mediocre at city planning... City streets are neither numbered nor named alphabetically. If you continue on the same street for more than 3 blocks, the street name will change. Makes it real easy for a foreigner to find his way around...

3) After the first night in the hotel, the maid stole my comforter. Never got it back. I still haven't figured that one out...

Oh, did I mention the Super bowl doesn't end here until around 5am Monday morning? Lame.

München

Headed out to Munich a little late on Saturday because my coworker I went with, Adrienne, overslept (seriously, I woke up before someone). Got a falafel at the train station - it was good, but it had nothing on my old namesake.

Got into Munich around 3, found a hotel, then walked in the direction we thought the sites were. About a mile and half later, there we were. Weird, that should never have worked out. The most memorable thing about Munich was all the old historic sites with cell phone stores and foot lockers built into them. It would be like me selling bacon wrapped bacon out of Lincoln's right leg...

Went to Hofbrauhaus for dinner. It’s a famous bar that fits probably a 1000 people, half tourist, but all drinking beers by the liter. Met a couple from UMD. Despite that fact, they were pretty cool. Living in Switzerland and had lots of good traveling advice. Some Schnitzel, a pretzel, and 2 liters of beer later, it was time to leave...

Late night, we went to an area with a bunch of clubs (in Germany, this still is not my thing). Going in to the area there was a "Tex-Mex Grill". They sold hamburgers. First stop, a communist club. There was a statue of Lenin out front and about 15 people inside. Not quite a thriving business, who would've guessed communism would bring you that. Second stop, a bar the size of my closet. Still about 15 people, but this time I'd consider it crowded. Third stop, more normal club. I was surprised by how much American music they listen to. Locals knew more of the words than I did - of course that would probably still be true in Mongolia...

The next day, I ate a doner kebab. Kind of like a gyro. The server tried to give me a plate after he blew on it and then scraped something off with his fingernail. Thanks, but I'll just use the paper it's wrapped in...

Went to a toy museum (even lamer than it sounds) and the Deutches museum dedicated to technology and engineering. That one would have been interesting except all the good exhibits didn't have English translations... My method of communicating in stores and restaurants (mostly pointing), didn't help with translating paragraphs about oil drilling...

I ate a German delicacy tonight...

"Curry scallops & scampi with bok choy".

ummm, germany, didn't you mean to use the word shrimp instead of scampi?? A friend I was eating with ordered "salmon trout". Sounds like some sort of super fish... It turns out it is a real kind of trout, but I'm pretty sure the dish was really just salmon.

Poor translation in english menu, but still one of the better meals I've had here. Tomorrow is Schnitzel and Beer in Munich.

Snow Day!

On my third day of work it snowed 2.5 feet (may be metric or an exaggeration). I got all the way to work before I found out it was cancelled. Spent 10 minutes getting the fiat out of its parking space, then went back to the hotel. Caught the train downtown and ended up in a shopping district. Had my first lunch where the waitress couldn't speak english. It went pretty well until I ordered coffee and she asked whether I wanted a cup or a whole pot. Luckily, there was a guy from Oregon at the next table that jumped in to translate. "ein taffe". I'll get that next time... I also managed to buy hazelnut chocolate, pastries, and an electric skillet without using english. Awkward looks when I'm talking are down 20%.

Now it's time to go downstairs and say "Cann ich bier haben?" 17 times. Check out pictures: http://picasaweb.google.com/adammorganvt/SnowDay

My sleep schedule so far.

2pm - 8pm
5am - 1pm
11pm - 3:45am

Probably the last time in my life I will wake up 4 hours before I have to be at work.....

Some things to know about Germany...

1. Ordering water results in you getting $5 carbonation.... Apple juice may also contain carbonation....
2. Lines that divide traffic going in the same direction are white dotted. Lines that divide traffic going in opposite directions are white dotted. Does anyone see where this may cause me problems?
3. If you randomly order a beer at a restuarant, you'll get something good.

Fiat Punto, 1.2 liters of power...

I'm flooring it going down the Autobahn, trying to keep up with the Ford Minivan I'm following. I'm failing...

The adventure started in London....

So, I had a layover in London. I was supposed to land at 6:05 AM, giving me plenty of time to catch my 8:10 flight. The pilot had to circle around for awhile, so we didn't get down until 6:25. Still plenty of time....

I get off the plane and took a bus 15 feet to terminal 3. My next flight is in terminal 2, so I follow the signs up stairs, through a long hallway, down stairs, through another long hallway to the bus that takes you to terminal 1 and 2. After about 18 turns on the bus, we're at the terminal, it's now 6:50. More stairs and hallways that take me in what feels like more circles. I get in the security line. "Only one carry on allowed in the UK" the security person says. "What if I have 2?". "You have to go the other way". "huh?". He points towards customs.... Another person explains I have to go through UK customs, check my bag at the ticket counter, then go back through security... Yeah, that's efficient. I take 2 minutes to debate whether i can take the 3 pairs of shoes in my backpack, put them in various coat pockets, then stuff the laptop bag in the backpack. It won't work. There's about 200 people in line for customs. I'll never make it. A Columbian girl, having the same problem, says she's going in the short line that has 2 people in it and no sign that says what it's for. They don't let her through because she's not from the EU. Hmm... has the US joined the EU, yet? I'll try.... I explain my situation using my official passport (it is now officially worth the extra money I ended up paying). A special agent takes me aside to question me, then lets me go. The Columbian girl is still stuck. It's now 7:10. I sprint through baggage claim, up to the ticket counters, down the entire front and up the back (think dulles). No Lufthansa... I ask someone. He points outside, to the left, 10 minute walk. I run it. A taxi driver gives me more directions (I'm glad UK is english speaking). 7:15. Short line at the ticket counter, 20 person line at security, then about 5 in line for passport check. I'm in the wrong line. It's not moving. 7:40. I switch lines, get through, run to the gate. I get there at 7:47, they started boarding at 7:45. Awesome...

I wore too many layers.... Worst designed airport ever.