Morgan Undeported!

That is correct, I am being undeported. I will be arriving in the motherland on June 4th after a quick 10 day layover in Italy. I recommend dollar beers at Rock bottom in Ballston for all that read this blog on wednesday, June 6th.

Greatest Potato Chips Ever.

Tasted exactly like thanksgiving. Or maybe just the powder from instant chicken noodel soup. At any rate, they're worth the trip to France.

Explanation on why I haven't been blogging

There exists this other hotel called the Marriott. Friends of mine are staying there. The Marriott has free breakfast, dinner, and vodka. End Explanation.

I hooked arms with a German man.

It was all part of spring fest (same as oktoberfest). We were in a large tent, drinking beer by the liter, when the Germans at our table stood up on the bench and started dancing. Well, I'm not one to be shown up by some German with fancy dance moves, so I stood on the bench too. Soon it turned into everyone hooking arms and kicking. Good times were had by all.

Pictures will be added if I can get my hands on them.

London

I took a trip to London this past weekend with my friend Chi. A few of the noteworthy items:

1) I was off the plane for 3 minutes when I found the root of the English dental hygiene problem. Apparently, they have been trying to chew their toothbrush.

2) It turns out, driving on the left side of the road doesn't only matter if you're driving, it also matters if you're trying to cross. Cars were coming from all kinds of directions I didn't expect. Luckily, Chi was there to save my life 18 times.



Unfortunately, I look neither right nor down. I look left, where the cars are supposed to be coming from.

3) Exchange rates are very important. 2.50 is expensive for water, but when that's in pounds, so you're actually paying over $5 for water, it's ridiculous. Everything was priced as you'd expect it except 1 pound is 2.08 dollars. My wallet still hurts.

4) It may surprise some that in a land that names its food "bubbles and squeaks" and "bangers and mash", it is hard to find something delicious. The best two meals we had were both in the airport.

5) Despite my request, the Queen will not be commenting on this blog.

I can't clap to a beat.

We all know I am not musically inclined, but now, thanks to the internet, we can quantify how bad I really am.

I took the 3 tests here: http://tonometric.com/

First came the tone deaf test. 36 questions. I had 2 options, so with the speakers off, I should get 18 correct. I had the speakers on. I got 20 correct. 55.6%. Some may say I got lucky on 2 questions, and I'd have to agree. I guessed on every single one.

Next up, rhythm test. I felt like I was doing a little better on this one, then came the score. 48%. Again, two options, and I failed at getting the score I should've gotten with the speakers off. I believe the exact phrase used by the site was "possible rhythm or memory deficit". Memory? Come on, now the site is just taking shots at me while I'm down.

Finally came the adaptive pitch test. This test showed at 500 Hz, I could reliably differentiate two tones 4.2 Hz apart. Which is...... Above average! It's a small victory, but I'll take it.

So do these results mean I'm putting the dance shoes away for good? Well, I don't own dance shoes, but I still plan to go out there and embarrass anyone willing to dance with me. And don't give me a hard time about it, I apparently don't hear what most of you are hearing...

Cooking goes bad.

So, the plan was to eat this:



Drink this:



While sitting out here in 70 degree weather:



Instead, right when I put the food in the electric skillet, it shorts out. It lasted two months. Not the worst $20 I ever spent, but close...

Without a cooking device, I was forced to walk all the way across the street to consume fish and chips and drink guiness. Wow, my life is pretty rough...